Fit Life Adventure

An Ordinary Woman's Journey of Surviving Obesity


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Thin Blood

​I think a lot of people would claim that autumn is their favourite season. Maybe you have a birthday around this time,  perhaps you like the colour change happening on the trees and I imagine you’re a fan Halloween- who isn’t? Plenty of great reasons to love this time of year. 

For me it’s all about the pumpkins. Not eating or carving – but painting.  I paint pumpkins.  This year I painted over 30. The most I have ever done! 


I dont paint them just to sell them, although that was what happened this  year and the main reason I did so many. I just genuinely love doing it. I find mixing the paint  to get the perfect shade of blue a sort of  “zen like” experience. I get to zone out and pour all of my creative energy into this one action. This October hobby takes up a lot of time. In order to get this many pumpkins done I had to scale  back on my fitness routine. Boy did I miss  it. NEVER in a million years would I think I would crave exercise as much as I do! So as October comes to a close, I bid it a fond farewell and am very anxious to get back to my exercise regime.

A fond farewell is also given to summer….yet another thing I didn’t anticipate missing as much as I am right now. I know a lot of people who welcome the weather change over from summer. People who love the warm, cozy sweaters, sipping some type of hot beverage and feeling that crisp breeze. I used to have a lot in common with those people. The key word is USED to. Yesterday  it was 8°C and I was in a parka with gloves and a scarf.  Walking dogs for a living  keeps me outside most of my work day so it’s important for me to be comfortable in whatever mother nature  chooses to throw at me, but being comfortable in cooler weather is proving to be pretty difficult. I barely got through  our unusually mild winter last year, so you can imagine how terrified I am for this winter. 

Since losing  a lot of weight, I freeze at the slightest whisp of a breeze. It seems I can never get warm enough…and it’s only  October.  This will be one long winter if I can’t get  a grip on this. Friends laugh and think I am exaggerating. I REALLY wish I was. I do think there’s something to being thinner and having less fat as insulation. I get cold so fast now. Those of you who have been thin for your  whole life have the upper  hand. Your body knows how to regulate heat properly or you’ve simply  built up a tolerance to colder temperatures. You probably still feel the chill, but something tells me you’ve got a better handle of it than me. I envy you.

 My old problem was that I would over heat easily. I loved colder weather. I get now why people love  the summer so much.  Being cold sucks.  Extremities go numb,  it’s almost painful! I get little sympathy for this problem ,  and that’s ok, I get it. I don’t need it. But I DO need some supplies to get me through until Spring. So  I will be highlighting and circling thermal blankets,  slippers and “Snuggies” on my list to Santa this year. 


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My Health Scare…And No, It isn’t Weighing 300 lbs

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I was on the fence about sharing this with you. It certainly is personal, so that was part of me deciding to withhold it for a while. The other is that I have been praised for being so healthy lately and part of me thought that sharing this struggle would make me seem less successful. But I’ve come to the realization that that simply isn’t true. I think a lot of you who read this appreciate my honesty and realistic approach to health and fitness. So why should I withhold this? I haven’t had my period since March. It’s October.

I am 31 years old… a far cry from menopause. But given my hormone history, I began to get pretty worried after one month of not seeing my monthly visitor. I will spare you the long medical details. In short, when I was born, I had a very unique condition. If the condition persisted I would’ve started my period at the age of 5 and actually been going into menopause in my 30s. My life would’ve been very different and some doctors had said non existent all together. Call it divine intervention or luck but this condition all but disappeared shortly after its diagnosis and I went on to live a fairly normal life. But you can understated why I might pay attention to this particular absence in my routine. I also had a tubal ligation a few years ago, so I knew I wasn’t pregnant.

I brought all of this up to my doctor who, despite knowing my medical history, didn’t’ seem at all phased by it. She actually said to me “ Don’t you like not having your period? You really want it back?”

YES!!!! I kinda do.

I mean, what woman would miss all the crap that goes along with it, but it’s not normal to lose it such a young age right? I was entering the tail end of my weight loss, feeling and looking better than I ever have in my entire life and here I was getting furious with my body! I was working tirelessly to give it proper nutrition and exercise. I had a good handle on my mental health, I was even meditating! And this is the thanks I get?!

I had to practically twist my doctor’s arm, but I got her to run some blood work and tests and everything checked out. She said I shouldn’t panic and it would likely return in a couple months once my body acclimated to dealing with the lower weight I was now sporting. So I waited. A couple months went by. Still no period. I returned to my doctor, who said to wait a few MORE months and then come back to see her. I was beginning to think I was dealing with the Wizard of Oz here. “Go away and come back tomorrow” was getting a bit old. Not that I am not a hypochondriac but I felt like we should be doing more about this. I didn’t want something to be wrong with me. I was just very curious as to why this was happening. But having nothing to do but wait, I tried really hard to get it out of my mind. Who needs more stress right? Stress does NOTHING good for us.

Since my doctor had given me little to mull over with this whole ordeal, I took it upon myself to do my own research. I know an M.D who lives in another country and between her and some online reading I was able to settle my mind a bit. There are some changes that can occur with hormones when it comes to a dramatic weight loss, especially with woman. With a steady declining fat percentage, my body was basically saying that it would not be the proper host for a fetus at this point in time and so it eliminated that risk all together. They say our bodies are very smart but I figured mine would’ve clued in on me not providing a good home for a growing fetus with the whole tube tying operation…but I guess not. Basically my body needed enough time to regulate itself to my “new normal”.

Just as I was about to give The Wizard another phone call, it came back. I am an expert on practicing patience and I am thankful to say that all is well. We have returned to our regular scheduled programming and I have never been happier to go shopping for feminine hygiene products in my life!


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What I Eat In A Day – Excerpts From A Food Journal, October 2016

I was planning on doing this as my next post anyways. Receiving an abundance of requests for it just solidified my decision.

My diet. Everyone wants to know the exact foods I am eating on a daily basis. I am more than happy to share the information. I hold nothing as a secret. I am not looking to market my approach to food as anything but what I am choosing to eat. There is no catch to me giving you this information. I’m not selling an e book. I’m not selling anything! Despite the attempt from a popular woman’s magazine, the way I eat cannot be put in a box and labeled as anything other than healthy eating. It is not a “program” or a “plan”. It is just food.

I am happy to share what I eat with you but please do not mistake this for me telling you that you must to do the same if you want to get my results. I would be delighted to know that among the different impacts that I am told I am making in people’s lives, that one of them would be that I am helping to shape critical thinkers. I think it is a mistake to hold one person’s experiences on a higher level than your own. If you do, then there’s a good chance you’re not paying attention to how your body is responding to the changes you will be making. For instance, I cut out fruit when I first began my journey. I consumed it maybe once a week in a smoothie as a “treat”. For me, sugar was a gateway drug….even in the form of fructose. I had to really scale back. Your body’s response to sugar, dairy or grain may be totally different than mine. And that’s ok. The entire point of a lifestyle change is to find something that you can stick to long term.

I truly believe that there is no one perfect way of eating for everyone. There are plenty of ways to lose weight. Even fewer ways to keep it off for good. You may need to alter your food choices or the frequency of your meals multiple times throughout your journey. Everyone wants to get it right, right off the bat. You probably won’t. I didn’t. But that’s how you learn what works for you and what doesn’t. Don’t take my word as gospel. Instead, use this as a guide, a starting point, and then discover for yourself how your own road looks on your journey.

I guarantee you success. The principals of losing weight are very simple. Burn more calories than you take in. You burn calories just by sitting up straight, so don’t think that by me telling you that you need to “burn calories” that automatically means you also need to sign up for a gym membership. You never need to step foot in a gym if you don’t want to. Remember the first 100 pounds of the weight I lost was achieved with dietary changes. The key to choosing foods to eat is picking ones you enjoy. If you don’t like broccoli, eat cauliflower. If you hate chicken, eat turkey. If meat isn’t your thing, tofu works fine. The idea is just to eat foods sourced as close to nature as possible. Eliminating a lot of overly processed foods and the additives and chemicals that go along with them are going to help reduce the amount of calories you are taking in. Consuming real, unprocessed food is also going to make you happier, calmer, revitalized and more powerful.

There are just 3 things you’ll need to do to succeed:

  1. Get a food journal. Once you introduce a healthier lifestyle and you start paying attention to your bodies signals you are going to like having the ability to look back on your food choices on days where you felt extra hungry, tired, bloated or like a million bucks to determine which foods likely played a role in that.
  2. Get a positive, goal oriented mindset. Other wise known as motivation. Stop yourself from thinking about long term goals though. I do not want you to be worried about the upcoming holidays, how you’ll manage your diet on weekends or stress about your birthday cake in 5 months. I guarantee that you will drive yourself nuts with that sort of thinking. You’ll get nervous, doubtful and give up before you start. Focus on today, on the next meal you will be eating and nothing more than that.
  3. Get food

That’s it. That is all you need to get started the same way I did. Sound too good to be true? It’s not. It may not always be easy, but it is possible. A new lifestyle is going to be difficult. You will have cravings, they will lessen over time. You’ll have monumentally successful days, and days where your perseverance is tested to the max. That’s life. If you want a healthier one, it’s your choice.

I’ll share with you an actual photo from this week last year taken from my food journal.

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My diet is pretty similar a year later. I eat a bit more fruit and greek yogurt now, but just about everything is the same.

I post meal pictures pretty frequently on my Instagram page. I will encourage you to check it out, the link is on the homepage of my blog.

The following are recent entries from my food journal.The oils I use to cook my meats and veggies on the stove top are either coconut oil or extra virgin olive oil. I use measuring spoons and I own a cheap food scale. I’m also having a love affair with my NutriBullet Blender….don’t tell my husband.

October 3, 2016

8:30am
– 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 1 capsule of Probiotic, 1 tsp Stevia, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries
-1 egg, 1 egg white
-1 square 80% Dark chocolate

11:30am
– Protein Bar

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2:00pm
– Protein Shake ( 1 scoop Pineapple/Mango powder from AllMax Isoflex, 1/2 frozen banana, 1 tbsp unsweetened shaved coconut, 1/4 cup frozen mango, 1 cup unsweetened vanilla cashew milk, ice)
-2 Twizzler sticks

5:30pm
– 1 chicken breast seasoned with lemon and pepper
– handful of baby carrots, chopped onion and mushrooms
– 1/4 cup whole grain quinoa
– 1.5 cups Smart Food Pure Delights Popcorn in Salted Caramel

October 4, 2016

8:00am
– Protein Waffles (1 scoop vanilla protein powder from AllMax Isoflex, 2 tbsp oat flour, 2 egg whites, 1/4 cup unsweetened vanilla cashew milk, probiotic capsule, pinch of cinnamon, 1 tbsp baking powder, 1 tbsp Stevia)
– 2 tbsp powdered chocolate peanut butter from TruNut drizzled over top, sprinkle of cinnamon

11:30am
– Protein Bar

2:00pm
– 9 pieces of vegetable sushi with soy sauce
– 1 can tuna with 1 tsp olive oil and dill seasoning
– 8 slices of cucumber

 

5:00pm
– 1 tilapia fillet with lemon
– 1 medium roasted sweet potato
– handful of cauliflower, mushrooms and baby carrots

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7:30pm
– 5 scrambled egg whites with Italian seasoning and 10 almonds

 

October 5, 2016

9:00am
– 8 egg white omelet with handful baby spinach, mushrooms and 1 tsp light crumbled feta

Noon
– Protein Bar

2:00pm
– 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt, 1 tsp Stevia, 1/2 cup frozen strawberries, 1 tsp natural honey, – 1/2 cup granola
– 8 cucumber slices
– 1 can tuna with 1 tsp olive oil and garlic seasoning

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5:30pm
– 2 small home made hamburgers with Italian seasoning
– bed of green leaf lettuce
– handful of mushrooms, zucchini, baby carrots and corn
– 2 tbsp salsa, 1 tbsp Greek yogurt
– 1 oatmeal raisin cookie that my mother in law baked

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Practice makes perfect. Persistence pays off.


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The Real Me – What It’s Like To Be A Cover Girl

Shia LaBeouf said it best. I’m not famous.

I didn’t lose weight to become known for it. I didn’t go looking for any attention, I just went looking for better health. I’ve written before about how putting out positive thoughts can attract more of that into your life. Well, ta da! I am on the Cover of Woman’s World Magazine this week.

How did this happen? That’s a question I can’t seem to stop asking myself. My tiny speck of a blog got noticed by the magazine’s editor and things just developed from there. Along with the 2 page spread and being the cover model, I was hosted on radio talk shows and interviewed on the evening news. Pretty overwhelming for this girl! I learned a lot about how hard working the local media personalities and journalists in my city are, and how fast paced it all moves.

I found myself dealing with quite a bit of anxiety the past few days. Radio and TV have to condense the past year and a half of my life for time’s sake. I don’t want to screw up the message. This whole ordeal will mean nothing if it doesn’t come across as authentic. I don’t know if I’m really cut out for dealing with all the media attention that I have been getting. I very much expect to be just a flash in the pan. In another week, many will have totally forgotten my story. But if one person says to me that I played a role in their own personal journey of change than my anxiety is worth it.

I stressed my need to remain authentic to Woman’s World the first time we spoke. My weight loss transformation was a natural one. I refused to be pigeon holed into making it fit into the current diet trend. If my story was to be told, it would have to be MY story. I am very satisfied with the job the writers did. I am not so satisfied with the job that the Photoshop team did. I knew when I signed the photo release during the shoot it would be expected that they might whiten my teeth, I wasn’t expecting a whole new mouth shape. Not that I think I am some fabulous beauty, but I never really minded my mouth. Or the lines on my forehead when I smile. Or my nose. There were quite a few changes made.

I’ll let you see for yourself.

 

I think if I were ever to be turned into a Barbie Doll, this picture would be a good representation. I am not angry, sad or hurt that they felt it necessary to change parts of my face. I am just thankful they left my body alone because that would be a complete lie and not cool at all in my opinion. I find it a bit humorous to be honest. Once I got over the shock of looking at a picture that was me -but not quite me – I found it hilarious. I’m not sure the things they changed actually made me look “better”. I kinda like me the way I am. “Flaws” and all. In fact, I have never enjoyed my crooked teeth more. S0 thank you Woman’s World for sharing my story and thank you for giving me even more reasons to love the person that I am.


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The Skinny On Supplements

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No one begins a journey at the half way mark. Everything is a process. The idea of taking supplements might be brand new to you. I was never that kid whose parents forced them to take the Flintstones chew-able multivitamins. I was actually envious of those kids. The vitamins looked and tasted like candy. However, I did have to choke back vomit once a day as I munched on Tums calcium tablets due to a milk allergy. Fruit flavoured my ass. Orange, yellow or red – they all tasted the exact same – disgusting. That was my one and only foray into the world of supplements until just recently.

I refuse to break the bank to live out my new healthy lifestyle. I like to get the most out of my purchases – who doesn’t? When I learned of how important the role of protein would play in my diet choices, I knew that eating three or four chicken breasts a day wasn’t going to be the most cost efficient way to get it. I remember shopping at GNC for the first time. Thank god for the friendly staff members who humored my thousand questions about how to use protein powders. I remember being so scarred of how they would taste. They aren’t super cheap and I didn’t want to invest in a crappy flavour. I felt like the weight of the world rested on this decision. I went with an orange flavour that made claims to be ideally mixed into water. I was so new to the supplement world that mixing it into anything else would have been too much for me to handle. Baby steps, right? As time has gone on I have become more comfortable with using them. I even bake with them now and I have become an expert smoothie maker. My flavour combos would blow your taste buds away! Move over Booster Juice!

As I would come to find out, protein powders are the equivalent to training wheels on a bike. It’s a safe starting point for supplements. You don’t need to be aiming for weight loss or muscle growth to utilize them though. There are so many more different types of supplements on store shelves and many would argue that the bulk of them are completely unnecessary. Like everything I have come across in my journey, I have done a lot of research about the decisions I choose to make. That absolutely (and especially) includes supplements. The sales people will try to talk me into purchasing a lot more, and being a bit knowledgeable before stepping foot into their territory allows me to make the most informed decision.

I was adamant that the fat loss I would achieve would come from dietary changes and not from gel capsules in a bottle. I never wanted to become physically or mentally dependent on a product like that. I wanted as organic a result as possible. So I stayed clear of a lot of what’s out there. Even detox tea products all seemed like such scams to me and honestly all seem to be forms of diuretics than anything else. I got very far into my health and fitness journey without the need for anything more than the protein. Throughout the past year or so, a picture has started to form in my mind. It has gotten clearer over time. It is a picture of my body. Rather, a picture of how I want my body to look. Knowledge is indeed a powerful tool and once my mind realized that, it was off to races. If I want something, then I know that I have the ability to put in the time and work to get it.

I mentioned in a previous post about my view on muscles. Woman and muscles to be exact. In my opinion, tone and definition of my muscles is something I want to have. My food choices certainly help make getting them a reality, and when GNC reached out to me with an offer to try out some fitness Accelerators, it was the right time for me to say yes.

In order to reach my goals I have to up my game when it comes to workouts and training. I have to be honest, it was mostly fat that I lost this past year but some of it was muscle. It is unrealistic to think that I would lose just fat alone. I have been prepared for a while that the time would come when I would want to build back up my muscle and my strength.

Before GNC‘s offer came along, I did some initial research into additional supplements. Things like BCAA’s, pre workout and post workout out supplements to help with the repairing of muscles that break down during workouts. I learned that there are more ideal food choices to eat pre and post workout and that there are products available to aid in stamina to help you push out more reps in your exercises. A supplement called Leucine, was one that I was really excited to try. It basically makes it easier for me to work harder. Leucine specifically helps to build lean muscle and aids in Protein Synthesis. It helps to quickly repair my muscles that get worn and torn during my workouts.

For the past month and a half I have been using Leucine Accelerator a couple times a week when I weight train. I have noticed a pretty decent increase in strength and I couldn’t be happier. I have gone from using 10 lb weights for certain upper body exercises, to 15 lb weights. I also find that I am not as sore the next day following some of my more intense weight sessions. I am able to recuperate faster. And that allows me to work harder again, sooner. All of this just adds to my self confidence and not only makes me look stronger but feel stronger, getting me closer to my next fitness goal.


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Where To Start – Blunt Motivation For Those Who Think They Can’t

In my dreams I am still obese. It’s strange that after all the work I have done on the mental side of weight loss, that my subconscious hasn’t caught up to reality. One day I know it will. I have learned a great deal about my patience threshold thought the past year or so. I have learned so much about myself in general. I am honestly not sure if I would feel this connected to myself had I not gone through this transformation. I probably wouldn’t. The most difficult part of changing one’s life is all connected to the brain. It’s the center of all our patterns and habits. It is impossible to have a healthy body with a negative mind.

Labour Day is around the corner and then it is back to routine. Back to the usual pattern of every day life. If you are looking to change your every day life, create new patterns and habits, then this blog post is for you.

You might think the very first step is finding your motivation. You’d be wrong. Even it was, I can’t tell someone how to find their motivation to change. And in this specific case, motivation to lose weight. Your motivation is ultimately going to be a product of your own life experiences. Whether you decide to change

your habits as an example for your family or a health necessity, that motivation will be yours and yours alone. I will also add that motivation isn’t a fixed thing. It can change throughout the journey. I would even venture to say that you could start changing your life without a clear idea of your motivation and likely find it along the way. A greater purpose is often revealed to us when we take huge leaps of faith.

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The real first step is the making the choice in your mind to create a change in your life. Broken down into its simplest parts this means making a choice of commitment and repetition. Commit to yourself and to changing your life. Then repeat those changes every single day. Sounds simple right? It is in theory. It’s in the practice of these ideas where people can get tripped up. I urge you to stay the course.

The most challenging part of losing weight is living the mantra each day of commitment and repetition. You must let go of all the excuses you have used in the past. Stop talking yourself out of this! Any reason you have ever come up with to not focus on your health and losing weight has done nothing for you but hold you back and silence your abilities. You have to push fear of failure aside. All of this takes great mental strength. But you have the power to do this. You are so much stronger than you realize. The people who achieve their goals ALL had to start from square one. So why should you be any different?

You don’t need to have every angle figured out before you start. I didn’t. For me, it was almost a blind leap of faith. I knew I was changing quite a bit from how I normally eat and live. But change creates change – I was stopping one pattern and beginning a new one. I couldn’t really envision how things were going to go. While that was scary, I pushed through and learned to live in each moment instead of stressing about the unknown. It was a conscious decision every single day until it wasn’t anymore. In today’s society everything is available so quickly for us. We get frustrated if things aren’t happening immediately. Sustainable weight loss and improved health will never be one of those things. I had to wait and so will you. This is how I developed incredible patience. Remember there is no deadline for weight loss. Whether or not you can see or feel this change right away, by choosing something different for yourself you HAVE changed and you ARE changing. Enjoy that feeling. The feeling of being renewed, refreshed. Commit to to it, repeat it. The external results will show in time.

Know that you are worth change. You are worth the hard decisions you will have to make.  You have the power and you are in control. Harness that strength. It is not reserved for special people, it is in all people. You know it isn’t going to be ”easy”. Every person on this planet has “good days” and “bad days”. Can you imagine how great a feeling it is to have a sense of accomplishment on a “bad day”? I guarantee you no one has ever looked back on a day like that, having still stuck to their new healthy life patterns, and felt any sense of regret. What you will feel is empowered and unstoppable. The rough days will build you up even greater than you can imagine! Commit to pushing though the bad days, because you will absolutely have to repeat it. Everything gets easier the more you do it and the “bad days “ won’t seem so bad for very long.

Do yourself a huge favour and stop focusing on the end result. No need to do that at the start of your journey. You might be like me and will have a hard time even picturing what that will look like. You don’t need to picture exactly what you will look like or feel like. All you need to picture is that the change is possible. That the change will happen. The end result, just like your motivation, might morph into something different as you move through your journey. You are now in control, you are choosing better foods to eat and how you move your body throughout your day. You are creating amazing positive energy! Take that positive energy and use it to motivate you tomorrow, and the next day. Repetition. There are going to be days where you have to push yourself. There are going to be days where you don’t push hard enough. It is so important to feel the highs and the lows. That is how you find balance and that is how you find yourself.

Whatever personal turmoils you are going through do not define your entire existence. You are not your current situation. What defines you is how you deal with your current situation and how you emerge on the other side.

Deep breathe, re set your focus and begin again. How does anyone ever get good at anything they do? Commitment, repetition.


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Just My Size

 

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It is late August, so naturally the department stores are gearing up for Christmas. Seriously, I heard there are Christmas trees for sale at Costco.

This summer has been one of the most fantastic summers I have had in some time. I wasn’t sweating my butt off in jeans, I got to wear some cute dresses and rock some short shorts. My tan line actually extended north of my ankles and I bought a bathing suit that I don’t mind wearing. But I am ready for fall. I appreciate each season for what it offers but there is that imaginary line that I hit when I feel it is time to bid farewell to one season and embrace the next.

At this point in my weight loss/fitness journey, I am as close as I have been to being literally and physically half my size. Safe to say that should I lose this last 6 pounds, the summer clothes I am wearing right now will still see sunlight again next year. A few pounds will not make that much of a difference to the fit of them. I couldn’t be more excited for that. Investing in nicer pieces has been much easier this summer than last because of this fact. I recall last summer I was in the midst of continuous weight loss. I was often in that awkward “in between size” phase for most of it. God, the annoying belts I would have to wear! I hate belts. Especially in the summer. It just made it hotter and added more to fuss with when you really have to pee. When you drink as much water as I do, that is a serious issue.

 

When I couldn’t take belts any longer it was off to my seamstress to get her to take in the waist of my capris and jeans. I was there about once a month last summer. The money I spent on alterations likely paid her cable bill. Not that I was losing weight at such a rapid or unhealthy rate, but each month I was losing at least 8 to 10 pounds. While I could get alterations done once, even twice to jeans, there is a point at which the 2 pockets of the ass are practically on top of each other that you need to throw in the towel. I stretched the wear of these clothes because I knew that investing in anything else would be pointless as I wouldn’t be wearing them for a second season. I am so glad that’s over with!!

 

Shopping for clothes is something I look forward to now. It has become an addiction! I find it’s getting easier to eye pieces hanging on store racks and deciding if they’ll fit. That actually took way longer to figure out than I hoped it would. I imagine the store associates got pretty ticked off with me not knowing my own size. I would have to take a small, medium and large of everything I was interested in into the change room with me. I’m sure I was their least favourite customer.

 

 The emotional high connected to buying new clothes is pretty amazing too! I imagine this is what most teen girls feel like about their wardrobe. Seeing as I missed having all this fun when I was their age, part of me feels like I am making up for lost time. I kid you not, I will stand facing my clothes, all hung up in my closet and skim my eyes and hands over the fabric of these clothes. Touching them, loving them. Holding them out in front of me and practically giggling over how small they appear on the hanger. Sue me if you think that is a bit self indulgent. Never in a million years would I think I would find myself enjoying this particular activity.

 

I have gotten the lectures about not being too focused on the size it says on my tag. But I’m sorry – I get giddy with joy at the sight of the “M”s on my shirts and even a couple “S”s hanging in my closet. For those who are new to my blog, I was once a 2 XL. It is an incredible change -saving the space alone is incredible…means I can buy more clothes! I have come so freaking far that I think I get to enjoy this small fact. I do not by any means base my entire existence around fitting into smaller sizes, but I smile a little bigger picking out my wardrobe from day to day.

 

But tucked away, in the back of my closet, you’ll still find a couple XXL’s. They exist as a reminder of how far I’ve come. This helps motivate me and ground me at the same time. As much as there are so many painful memories when it comes to buying clothes (or in my case, not buying them) in years past, I never want to fully forget.